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Your Bridesmaids' Worst Nightmare

Gloria Kreitzberg // Marketing Director

There are so many things you need to do in preparation for your wedding day that it can be overwhelming. Some stress is inevitable, but sometimes brides can become too demanding and a bit controlling. This is usually due to the whirlwind of the wedding tasks at hand that has their heads spinning. After reading this article, you just may find that you are becoming a BBB (Bride Behaving Badly). It could happen.

 

Let’s look at things from your bridal party’s point of you. Your Maid of Honor and bridesmaids are there to support you from your engagement to the day you say, “I do.” They are your sisters, cousins, friends, and sometimes even your daughters. They make sure your train has been flared out perfectly as you walk down the aisle, hold your bouquet as you take your vows, and even pass you a tissue or two so that your mascara doesn’t run. They work hard to plan a bridal shower you will love and spend quite a bit of their hard-earned money on you—the bride—for your special day. They are honored that you chose them to share one of the most significant times in your life and they are there for you with love and support.

   

However, some brides are more demanding than appreciative of all that their bridal party is doing for them. Rather than being a bride of endearment, they turn into someone who behaves more like the Bride of Frankenstein. My dear woman, take a deep breath, allow your mind to open, and take a brave look at these 6 signs that may tip you off that you might be a BBB.

 

Tipoff #1 – High-Roller Bride

Unless you live in a community like Beverly Hills, it may not be appropriate or considerate to ask your bridesmaids to shell out an exorbitant amount of money on overpriced designer bridesmaids dresses and Louis Vuitton shoes that only the Kardashians can afford. Although you may have caviar tastes, you may want to consider the overall financial situation of your bridal party. It may be your special day, but your friends and family will love you even more if you are a bride-to-be that is considerate of others’ spending limits.

 

Tipoff #2 – Ms. Bossy Pants

Could you be asking your bridesmaids do an enormous amount of running around for you, shouting our orders, and making demands on a continuous basis? Caution: If this sounds like you, resentment could start to brew. Barking out orders about the way you want things done could put you on Santa’s naughty list. Sure, they will be glad to pitch in and help you when you really need them, but you might save some friendships if you hire helpers or enlist the help of a wedding planner to do some of those tiring things. After all, those who are in your bridal party are not your 24/7 personal assistants.

 

Tipoff #3 – Clone-maids

Typically, tradition has it that your bridal party’s wedding look and attire be coordinated and similar—but the question is how far should you take it? Let’s say you want them all to wear heavy black eyeliner, deep smoky purple eye shadow, and make sure their hair is long enough by the wedding so they can wear it in a French twist. Or, maybe you asked them not to cut their hair for a year, go on a diet so everyone looks like a model, or head off to the tanning salon so they can be bronze by the wedding? What you may not be taking into consideration is their individual preferences and if your cloning mission will actually result in them making them feel really uncomfortable. Some bridesmaids may look garish in heavy dark makeup with their delicate complexions, do not believe in tanning due to the health risks, or really want to cut their hair short and sassy (but are not allowed to). Having a coordinated look for your wedding party is totally fine, but try to be flexible enough to listen to their concerns. Allow them the freedom to be themselves and feel comfortable. After all, all eyes will be on them also as you all walk down the aisle.

 

Tipoff #4 – Up, Up, and Far Away

If your dream is to have a romantic exotic wedding on a tropical island in the middle of the Caribbean, remember that this will require your entire bridal party to fly there, which could be very expensive (unless you already live on the island). Before making the decision to get hitched under a Tiki hut, consider how much it would cost for them (and possibly their partners) to purchase expensive plane tickets and reserve rooms at a pricey hotel. Your closest friends may love you to the moon and back, but may not be able to afford such an extravagant trip. A far-away destination wedding can also put a strain on family life since some people could have small children or pets that they cannot leave. It’s a good idea to take all of these things into consideration before you make your decision to be married in paradise.

 

Tipoff #5 – Oops. Just Kidding

Once you have asked your Maid of Honor and bridesmaids to be in your wedding, a good way to cause a lot of hurt and possibly lose a friend is to change your mind and un-invite them to be in your bridal party. Let’s say you only want six bridesmaids—maybe because your finance can only drum up six guys to be in the wedding party. You’ve made up your mind, asked your closest friends and family to be part of your special day. Then, to your surprise, your fiancé informs you that his stepsister told his mother that she will go off the deep end if she is not invited to be in your bridal party. You then make the really bad decision to ‘fire’ your cousin (who your Mom made you ask) to make room for your soon-to-be stepsister. Making the decision to ask someone to leave your wedding party (unless they become toxic) would definitely put you in the BBB category. The hurt and anger it could cause might result in disaster—the loss of a friend.

 

Tipoff #6 – Drama Queen Bride

Friends and family that you have invited to be in your wedding party are special. Many of them (if not all) are happy to lend a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to lean on in times of wedding planning trouble. But—they are not your personal therapists. For example, if you and your finance are in a constant state of arguing, breaking up and getting back together, or you are having upsetting disagreements with someone in your bridal party, your job is to handle the situation the best you can without making an entire group of women your 24/7 therapists. Try to keep gossiping and drama to a minimum. More importantly, if your relationship with your fiancé is so tumultuous that you are calling or texting your bridesmaids at all hours of the night throughout the engagement period, maybe turning to a professional counselor to help you work out your issues would help put things in perspective and take the burden off of your wedding party.

 

Conclusion

Stress can make even the most level-headed, considerate, lovely person act in ways that are not typical of their personality. CLICK HERE to read our previous article on how to keep calm and carry on throughout your engagement and wedding, which may help to prevent you from being a BBB. If you are a ‘bride of endearment’, friends, family, and especially your partner will pick up on your inner calm and everyone involved will have a wonderful wedding experience.

The wedding planners at Webster Golf Club can assist you in taking off some of the pressures of your wedding day. Their services are complimentary when you book your wedding and reception at Webster Golf Weddings & Events. Call us today at (585) 265-1920, ext. 3 to learn more.